Online dating tips for Newly Single Women
Ok, so you are single again and want to meet someone special to ignite passion and romance in your new life. Your friends are telling you to try online dating...because "everyone does it now". In fact, they know a couple who just got married that met online...That is great, right?
Well, before you jump in and set up your online dating profile to find your soulmate, there are a few things you should know.
Statistics show that:
51% of online dating singles are already in a relationship but market themselves as being single1
53% of Americans make up lies for part or all of their dating profile2
5% of Americans who are in a marriage or committed relationship say they met their partner online3
That being said, online dating can be a great step toward getting comfortable dating again. If you decide you are going to give online dating a go...there are some steps you should take to keep yourself safe and have the best experiences possible.
Here they are:
Set up an email address that is separate for use only with online dating site accounts.
Be honest and positive on your profile and use your best, recent photos. Don't set yourself up for disappointment or humiliation by presenting yourself as something online that will not be true in person. (I will discuss ways to build your profile in future posts.)
Use the messaging interface within each online dating platform to communicate with the people you are interested in prior to giving them your personal email or phone numbers.
Have a “system” for filtering the people you want to (and do not want to) engage with.
Mine was something like this:
Message within the system back and forth for a few days or even a week(s).
Never give your phone number without being asked for it.
Never give your phone number first – always get theirs first so you can enter it into your phone so you know who is calling you. Wait for them to ask, but when they do, tell them you need theirs first.
After you have exchanged phone numbers, talk on the phone together for at least 15-30 minutes – this is a conversation about getting to know each other – NOT just setting logistics to meet.
Google them. This only takes a moment and can help give you a feel for who they are professionally, and validate some of the information they have shared with you already. (You also have the option to pay for a background check on them if you want to. I will cover this in detail in future blog posts.)
If you feel like you connect and that the other person seems trustworthy then set the meetup time and place.
Make sure you drive yourself. Do not have them come to your place to pick you up for your first meeting. (You may not want them to know where you live after you meet them).
When you go to meet someone from an Online dating service please make sure at least one adult in your life knows where you are going and who you will be meeting.
I have found that although taking these steps might be frustrating since you may get impatient at times, you will be safer and the dates always turn out more enjoyable
There are many people online that will try to rush the process that you have designed for your filtering system. If these people do not want to honor these steps with you, move on and select someone else. An impatient or pushy person online will be impatient and pushy in-person also.
As always, let me know your feedback – simply contact me on the Contacts page or leave your comments below. Thank you.
Live in possibility,
Founder & CEO
(1)Dinner for Six, a matchmaking service in Denver, Colorado
(2)According to Huff Post
(3)Pewresearch.org by By Aaron Smith and Monica Anderson